Reasons Dan Ellis Might be in Financial Trouble

For the second time in less than a month, Dan Ellis went on a seemingly unprovoked rant about money on Twitter. While garnering no sympathy what so ever, Ellis disclosed that he was more worried about his finances now than when he was in college.

How could this be, you might be asking yourself. Ellis just signed a new $3 million contract. Well, we here at DTV (and by we, I mean me) have put together a list of possible reasons that Dan Ellis is having money trouble.

• Mistakenly thought Rick Tocchet was still the coach, and agreed to get involved in some “extracurriculars” with him and Janet Gretzky.
• Has continued legal costs involving a sexual harassment case with the Sedin twins.
• Has continued legal costs involving a protective suit against Pekka Rinne.
• May have over-indulged by hiring an international team of artists to paint his new mask.
• Possibly went a little overboard with the pure diamond/24K gold rims on his new Jaguar.
• Got conned by noted friend and Twitter buddy Reggie Bush into buying some trophies and other belongings that he was recently forced to return.
• Has not yet started his eBay store "Specialist Ellis Sellas" to sell the eight different sets of pads he uses in one season.
• Has ongoing costs for a continued search effort for his jock strap after a brief run-in with Pavel Datsyuk.
• Has been saving up for the upcoming operations his brain surgeon brother will have to perform, having lost his freaking mind touch with reality.
• Spends all his time on Twitter instead of at the rink, therefore not quite reaching his potential, and missing out on that Kovalchuk-like deal that every player deserves.