How could this be, you might be asking yourself. Ellis just signed a new $3 million contract. Well, we here at DTV (and by we, I mean me) have put together a list of possible reasons that Dan Ellis is having money trouble.
- Mistakenly thought Rick Tocchet was still the coach, and agreed to get involved in some “extracurriculars” with him and Janet Gretzky.
- Has continued legal costs involving a sexual harassment case with the Sedin twins.
- Has continued legal costs involving a protective suit against Pekka Rinne.
- May have over-indulged by hiring an international team of artists to paint his new mask.
- Possibly went a little overboard with the pure diamond/24K gold rims on his new Jaguar.
- Got conned by noted friend and Twitter buddy Reggie Bush into buying some trophies and other belongings that he was recently forced to return.
- Has not yet started his eBay store "Specialist Ellis Sellas" to sell the eight different sets of pads he uses in one season.
- Has ongoing costs for a continued search effort for his jock strap after a brief run-in with Pavel Datsyuk.
- Has been saving up for the upcoming operations his brain surgeon brother will have to perform, having lost
his freaking mindtouch with reality.
- Spends all his time on Twitter instead of at the rink, therefore not quite reaching his potential, and missing out on that Kovalchuk-like deal that every player deserves.