New NHL Products: Sidney Crosby Wine

The idea here is that ‘New NHL Products’ will be a weekly feature here at DTV. But in all reality, it’ll probably run out of momentum after a few weeks. Kind of like the Lightning.

In an attempt to gain more notoriety, the NHL has begun a marketing plan to place popular players on products in markets not normally associated with hockey.

Today, a press conference was held to debut the plan with the much anticipated release of the new Sidney Crosby Wine. Features of the Sidney Crosby Wine Line include:

• 8.7% Alcohol by volume.
• Will be the only wine you'll ever think about drinking from now until we go out of business because the only wine commercials you'll ever see will be for Sidney Crosby Wine. Forever.
• Distinctive label makes it easy to find, so you won’t have to spend too much time in the cellar. 
• According to expert wine tasters, eliminates the need for beer, liquor, and cheese, because Sidney Crosby Wine can take care of everything by itself. 
• Cheaper than most wine because it’s not made with crushed grapes, it’s made with crushed nuts.
• Guaranteed to give you a good buzz, because, unless you drink it in Pittsburgh, you’ll always get plenty of boos!
• The vintage doesn’t matter! Thanks to Gary, we’ve never had a bad year! 
• Available everywhere! Even your local dive! (However, Sidney Crosby Wine not available at MMA, UFC, Martial Arts, or Boxing events, because, well, you’ll never see Sid in a fight.) 
• Makes a great gift. Even people that don't drink will all of a sudden start liking it!