Afraid of Antagonizing Anyone Else, Bruins Remove All Signs from Arena

"They know those signs were a joke, right?"

Massive renovations are currently underway at the TD Gardens – the home arena of the Boston Bruins – after team and arena officials decided to remove absolutely all signage from the building.  The decision was evidently called down after a recent uproar over the team’s popular “Bear Ads” and the subsequent decision to remove those ads.  The decision to remove the Bear Ads was fueled largely by a Tampa area radio host’s campaign asking callers to call the Bruins marketing department and complain.

A team official had this to say:

“Well, first we got the calls about the Bear signs, then we got calls about the calls about the Bear signs, and then we got calls about the calls about the calls about the Bear signs, and frankly we’re just fucking sick of all it, so we’re getting rid of everything.  The signs on the boards, the placard on the front of the building, the Stanley Cup banners, everything.  Even the God damn bathroom signs.  All of it.  Of course, when some dumbass walks into the women’s bathroom, I’m sure we’ll get fucking calls about that too.”

As it stands, the team believes the arena will be ready to go for Monday’s Game Five, and the game is not currently in risk of being rescheduled.  

When asked about what effect this might have on the Lightning, Coach Guy Boucher had this response:

“Well good.  We should try that.  Maybe then our fucking defense wouldn’t be so distracted and might actually play some defense.  Maybe that’s what they were looking at last game.”