Given the fair popularity and overall success of the first version, I’ve decided to do this piece again for our Conference Finals matchup against the Boston Bruins. Enjoy.
|You kiss your mother with that mouth?|
You might not have heard about it, but there was actually a team that played against the Capitals last round. That was us. We beat them. In four games.
Our next test? The tough Boston Bruins. Despite the Bruins owning us throughout the regular season, this isn’t a terribly unfavorable matchup for the Lightning. I’ve gone ahead and hashed out a list of the Pros and Cons of facing the Bruins in round three.
Pro: The Bruins also swept their second round matchup, and the league has generously given both teams 47 days to rest.
Con: Several key players in the series will be either retired or dead by the time it finally starts.
Con: Boston seems to have finally lived down their 3-0 collapse to the Flyers last year.
Pro: They did so by sweeping the Flyers who thought it might be a good idea to hire the Beach Boys. Not to sing the National Anthem. To take turns playing in net.
Con: The Bruins have far more personnel in their organization from Canada.
Pro: The Lightning have far more personnel in their organization named Steve.
Pro: Speaking of, Steven Stamkos has finally learned his lesson about taking untimely boarding calls.
Pro: Marty St. Louis will finally have someone around to get things off the top shelf of his locker for him.
Con: Zdeno Chara isn’t allowed in our locker room.
Con: Boston has chiseled veterans who know how to win championships such as Ray Allen, Kevin Garnett, and Shaq.
Pro: Wait a minute…
Pro: The Bruins have a goaltender born in the crustaceous period just like us.
Con: He’s about eight feet wider than our goalie.
Con: The further along the Lightning get in the playoffs, the more likely their general inexperience may come into play.
Pro: Tomas Kaberle spent most of his career in Toronto, so it’s not like he knows what the hell he’s doing right now either.
Pro: The Bruins have Gregory Campbell on their team, ensuring interest in the series by the NHL front offices and the series will serve as a nice answer to their usual question of “Tampa Bay who?”
Con: Guy Boucher may get frustrated constantly answering why penalty killers Nate Thompson and Adam Hall are suddenly averaging 35 minutes a game.
Pro: Tim Thomas has been known to have a temper, doing crazy things like slamming his stick, pushing the net over, and throwing waterbottles, all of which are guaranteed to make you giggle.
Con: Zdeno Chara has been known to have a temper, doing crazy things like taking 108mph slapshots, pushing buildings over, and throwing opposing forwards into stanchions, all of which are guaranteed not to make you giggle.
Pro: The Bruins may have the only defense in the league capable of turning the puck over as much as Tampa Bay’s does.
Con: The Lightning may have the only defense in the league capable of turning the puck over as much as Boston’s does.
Pro: Fans with hearing impairments may have develop a new interest in the sport now that Andrew Ference has established himself as an absolute master of sign language.
Con: They may be immediately turned off when they see what he has to say.
Pro: The Bruins have a certified neurologist with the team at all times, and have him available to diagnose any and all head injuries that occur during the game.
Con: I work with some of the best neurologists on the planet and none of them have ever heard of a “Dr. Recchi.”