|Dropping the ball and the Lightning: Going hand in hand since '92.|
Well, 2012 is rapidly approaching, and it’s just about time to make a promise to yourself. A promise that’s about as likely to be kept as the Lightning making the playoffs in any given year.
As you ponder your resolution, you might also be pondering what your favorite Lightning player’s resolution may be. Turns out you’re in luck. I sent the DTV Investigation Team out to do some snooping, and they came up with a comprehensive list or Bolts resolutions.
Vinny Lecavalier: Selflessly promises to continue to give the bored Montreal media something to talk about, such as awesome goal celebrations like last night.
Eric Brewer: Assures everyone that he will never, ever fight again. Or so we hope.
Dominic Moore: Resolves to never, ever take backhands in practice. Or at least until he gets traded back to the Pittsburgh Penguins.
Dwayne Roloson: Promises to remember what exactly it is we were talking about.
Steven Stamkos: Resolves to with that fancy shampoo contract and all, make his hair look like it's actually been washed in the last 6 months.
Steve Downie: Resolves to change his name to Sidney Crosby. Ya know, so that he could actually play some hockey and not be sent to the penalty box just because every three and a half minutes.
Mattias Ohlund: Resolves to actually face the urinal whenever he has to pee, instead of having his back turned to it, causing a big mess and everyone to shake their head.
Guy Boucher: Promises to disclose ALL property, homes, cars, children, scars, etc. Who wouldn't do that?
Marty St. Louis: Resolves to burn and torture the puck that hit him in the face in a fiery ritual reminiscent of a Native American sacrificial ceremony. And by Marty St. Louis, I mean me.
Victor Hedman: Had great intentions of making a very significant resolution that would make even his biggest skeptics proud, but waited too long and at the last minute had to give his resolution to someone else, disappointing everyone.