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| Reminds me of NHL '96. I've been told that was Marty Brodeur's retirement gift. |
Now, while I did pretty well in the first round in the West, I only got 50% right in the East. Unless of course you thought I was serious about the Penguins winning, in which case you're a complete idiot and I never want you to read my blog ever again.
At any rate, let's take a look at what's in store for this round in the East, shall we?
1: New York Rangers –
7: Washington Capitals
Offense
New York: Provide
some of the most offensive footage in the playoffs. That is, if you’re watching Larry Brooks
interview John Tortorella.
Washington: Have
a pissed off Alex Ovechkin, which means their third line should really come out
attacking.
Advantage: Washington.
Defense
New York: Block
more shots than any team left in the playoffs.
Which is a damn shame, because if they let Torts take a couple, he might
chill the hell out.
Washington: Are
finally buying in to the defense-first mindset that was first instilled by
former scapegoat coach Bruce Boudreau.
Advantage: Washington.
Goaltending
New York: Have
the Vezina front runner and Hart finalist in Henrik Lundqvist who seems to be
buying in to absolutely everything his coach does, including offering helpful
tips for the officials during interviews.
Which everyone knows always helps get you a call or two.
Washington: Have
put their faith in a rookie goalie, which is such a great story, blah blah blah
blah, murmur the Philadelphia Flyers under their breath.
Advantage: New York.
Coaching
New York: Has an
experienced coach that never gives away team concepts or strategies by only
ever offering the media a friendly hello during interviews.
Washington: Has a
coach that really likes to bring it when the other team is least expecting
it.
Advantage: Push.
Intangibles
New York: Will be
focused and free of any first round hangover, seeing as their celebration ended
before most players even got out of the shower.
Washington: Have
the benefit of having everyone on their side since we now don’t have to hear
about Boston anymore.
Advantage: Push.
Prediction: Listen,
you fucking asshole, the Rangers are going to win. Got it, shitwagon? Says John Tortorella, standing right behind
me.
5: Philadelphia
Flyers – 6: New Jersey Devils
Offense
Philadelphia: Have
the hottest player in the game right now in playoff point leader, Claude
Giroux. He has an unbelievable statline
of 6G, 8A, 14P, and +6 through six games.
But, Sidney Crosby at 3G, 5A, 8P, and -3 is clearly much better, bemoans
the NHL and NBC.
New Jersey: Have
the highest paid forward in the league, which judging by his contract length is
only about 22, so he should be full of energy, despite having played a seven
game series in the first round.
Advantage: New Jersey.
Defense
Philadelphia: Andrej
Meszaros is evidently among the top six defensemen in their system, so
obviously, they’re terrible.
New Jersey: Don’t
have any “Cowboys” era former Lightning players.
Advantage: New Jersey.
Goaltending
Philadelphia: Look,
he’s pretty much a nutcase.
New Jersey: Look,
he’s pretty much a casketcase.
#SeeWhatIDidThere
Advantage: Push.
Coaching
Philadelphia: Have
a coach who put all his time and energy into humiliating the Penguins (God
bless him), and may be a little spent this round.
New Jersey: Have
a coach who put all his time and energy into humiliating his former team, which
didn’t exactly go as planned, and may be a little spent this round.
Advantage: Push.
Intangibles
Philadelphia: Certainly
won’t encounter any travel fatigue this series.
New Jersey: Certainly
won’t encounter any travel fatigue this series.
Advantage: Push.
Prediction: Ilya
Bryzgalov notices that his leg pads are the same color as outer space, which
causes him to begin pondering the universe again, which gives him a renewed
confidence. Flyers in 5. Although, it will be difficult to tell if this prediction is correct, as all of the broadcasts will just be a bunch of highlights from the Penguins in the first round.
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