|Reminds me of NHL '96. I've been told that was Marty Brodeur's retirement gift.|
Now, while I did pretty well in the first round in the West, I only got 50% right in the East. Unless of course you thought I was serious about the Penguins winning, in which case you're a complete idiot and I never want you to read my blog ever again.
At any rate, let's take a look at what's in store for this round in the East, shall we?
1: New York Rangers – 7: Washington Capitals
New York: Provide some of the most offensive footage in the playoffs. That is, if you’re watching Larry Brooks interview John Tortorella.
Washington: Have a pissed off Alex Ovechkin, which means their third line should really come out attacking.
New York: Block more shots than any team left in the playoffs. Which is a damn shame, because if they let Torts take a couple, he might chill the hell out.
Washington: Are finally buying in to the defense-first mindset that was first instilled by former
scapegoat coach Bruce Boudreau.
New York: Have the Vezina front runner and Hart finalist in Henrik Lundqvist who seems to be buying in to absolutely everything his coach does, including offering helpful tips for the officials during interviews. Which everyone knows always helps get you a call or two.
Washington: Have put their faith in a rookie goalie, which is such a great story, blah blah blah blah, murmur the Philadelphia Flyers under their breath.
Advantage: New York.
New York: Has an experienced coach that never gives away team concepts or strategies by only ever offering the media a friendly hello during interviews.
Washington: Has a coach that really likes to bring it when the other team is least expecting it.
New York: Will be focused and free of any first round hangover, seeing as their celebration ended before most players even got out of the shower.
Washington: Have the benefit of having everyone on their side since we now don’t have to hear about Boston anymore.
Prediction: Listen, you fucking asshole, the Rangers are going to win. Got it, shitwagon? Says John Tortorella, standing right behind me.
5: Philadelphia Flyers – 6: New Jersey Devils
Philadelphia: Have the hottest player in the game right now in playoff point leader, Claude Giroux. He has an unbelievable statline of 6G, 8A, 14P, and +6 through six games. But, Sidney Crosby at 3G, 5A, 8P, and -3 is clearly much better, bemoans the NHL and NBC.
New Jersey: Have the highest paid forward in the league, which judging by his contract length is only about 22, so he should be full of energy, despite having played a seven game series in the first round.
Advantage: New Jersey.
Philadelphia: Andrej Meszaros is evidently among the top six defensemen in their system, so obviously, they’re terrible.
New Jersey: Don’t have any “Cowboys” era former Lightning players.
Advantage: New Jersey.
Philadelphia: Look, he’s pretty much a nutcase.
New Jersey: Look, he’s pretty much a casketcase. #SeeWhatIDidThere
Philadelphia: Have a coach who put all his time and energy into humiliating the Penguins (God bless him), and may be a little spent this round.
New Jersey: Have a coach who put all his time and energy into humiliating his former team, which didn’t exactly go as planned, and may be a little spent this round.
Philadelphia: Certainly won’t encounter any travel fatigue this series.
New Jersey: Certainly won’t encounter any travel fatigue this series.
Prediction: Ilya Bryzgalov notices that his leg pads are the same color as outer space, which causes him to begin pondering the universe again, which gives him a renewed confidence. Flyers in 5. Although, it will be difficult to tell if this prediction is correct, as all of the broadcasts will just be a bunch of highlights from the Penguins in the first round.